The simple life

i can't seem to get into my book tonight. Partly because it is so steady at work. Steady generally means noisy, and i am so darned distractable . . . is distractable a word?
i am a bit bummed about it because i am in the middle of this great story about a couple of life long friends who are odds about their approach to life and what brings real happiness. The story is basically a series of conversations between the two. The arguments are obviously well thought out by the author (Tolstoy), so to some degree the feel a bit staged, but still so captivating.

That being said, i have been thinking about Jesus' statement about his yolk being easy and his burden light. i may be wrong but i think he even mentions that his way is easy for those who love him. In the end i have come to the conclusion that yes, his way is easy, when we simply live. It is easy when we simply love, when we don't make a bunch of pomp and circumstance about being a disciple and just do. When we don't think so much about it, when we don't make religion out of life, when don't plan out love, and seek out a spefic demographic, it is a light burden.
When we don't look to getting out of life, what we can for us, of how we gain, but just love, the burden of love is not much of a burden at all.
For me i guess the hardest part is (and i want to be careful how i word this so i don't seem pompous - because i suck at life anyway) waiting for opportunities to love people. Waiting for opportunities that are above and beyond because in my impatience, what should be enough in th emundane things in life is often not enough to appease me. Like i said, i suck at life. . . even i can't be content with what i should, and i certainly don't put enough into loving in the mundane things in life.

An outside look

i have two different blogs now and the journal that i keep at home. Sometimes the content is the same, many times none of them seem to have anything to do with one another. Somedays, i feel safe sharing thoughts here, other days my myspace blog seems the more comfortable. Some thoughts hide in my journal presumably to never be read, except perhaps in some future generation by one of my relatives. If nothing else it will give them an insight to their really bizarre ancestor.

One thing about the public blogs that i like are that even when, in my mind, my thoughts are private, others can see them and respond. i find this to be particularly helpful when one is toying with interesting but dangerous thoughts.

Yeah for accountability. Yeah for friends (and strangers) that can say, "Whoa there big boy (or girl), let's rethink that."
Yeah for inspiration through dialogue!

Mini-trip South

We survived our trip to Belvalle. Barely. It was an action packed weekend of meeting, conversing, working (but only a little), hiking, eating, conversing some more. It was far too short. What a joy it was to see Georg, Maida and Daniel, and to get to put faces to names like Nathan, Simeon, Dave, and Mario.
Most of the weekend was spent pondering forgiveness. When we weren't pondering it, we were discussing it. All of this in lite of the recent school shooting in Pennsylvania, and the Amish response. How moving it was to consider the level of forgiveness even in spite of such a tragic loss. As a father i can't help but wonder if i am even capable of a portion of that forgiveness, or if i would seek revenge.

This weekend and the following days have been productive. Thinking about forgiveness, and reflecting as honestly as possible about my life, has left me struggling. Community, the Bible, the Church, Jesus, i understand these things, in my head at least. But is there any evidence in my heart of God. Do i know him in my heart, or is the Creator just an academic idea that kicks around inside my brain. No! i want for him to be so much more. i want to feel Jesus in the way that i read others write about their experiences. i want to commune with the creator intimately. i want to stop lying to myself, and pushing God out when my mind wants to wander to places it ought not to be. i want to not desire things, lust after power, possession, control. i want to be firm and single minded.

There was something about being in Belvalle, being in close community with others of like mind. i was able to put aside all of the thoughts that i struggle with. i was able to, rather than lust for power and possession, shed off these distracting thoughts and put them out of my mind. It was busy, but it was peaceful. For it's speed, the rythm of life was much different. Much different, more peaceful.

i long for community, intentional community, but i don't want to force it. i don't want it to be the Russell community. It should be a community built by God, and so God will build it. But what a time it will be to take a step back and just exist in God, living outside of the rat race, but coexisting with it. That is what i long for. . . .

Gaining momentum. . .

Ha! What a week, and it's not over yet. We received a pretty hefty chunk of change this week, we are still not sure how the IRS is going to look at it, but if they are merciful we will have enough to put a new roof on the house, and finish the downstairs apartment (or at least get it well underway). Lord willing by next autumn we will be ready to move another family in.
i have to confess that i miss the kind of community, hard community that we had with Georg and Maida. The good news is that we are going to see them over the weekend!!

One of the benefits of such a close community is the accountability. i took a call last week from the chairman of the town council. i have served on the council in the past, but when my term had expired i found myself glad to be rid of it. As i get older and my ideologies evolve, i find myself less and less impressed with our system of government. We have created a system that now rules us, rather than having us rule the system.
i was certain at the end of my last term that i was done with politics, and that i had a deep rooted feeling against politics. Then came that phone call. Now i find myself tempted to get back involved. This is in part because they sought me out, in part because the man that asked me commands my respect, partly because i think that some opportunities lay in wait, and partly because it's fun and power is appealing. Of course, filling the position will make me a hypocrite and i am not so excited to put on that hat.
What are the motives? Are they pure? Would i have a purpose other than to just fill a seat and vote occasionally?
All of these things i am considering, but also the true weight of my convictions. If i can bend on this will i crumple under other circumstances in other convictions?

The next week will be telling. . .

LIfe surfing

Life has been funny lately. Perhaps the little hiatus that Saturday Night took during the months of July and August helped. It was a dark summer to begin with. Aside from the visit from the Barths and the birth of Adelyn, there was little that went well from my perspective.
Many compare life to a journey through valleys and up and over mountains. It would seem that as of late, life is more like riding a surf board in the tidal zone. Life as journey implies a sense that we govern our path and circumstances. Life on the water implies a position of response and reaction to life moving past.
There is that quote i like, "How we live is what we believe, everything else is just words."
Tonight i read Jesus response to that statement. "Do not merely listen to the word, and so decieve yourself. Do what it says."
The changes that have come since August in both the Saturday Night Group and the Sunday Fellowship have been more than exciting. At least from my perspective.
As an exciting start in a new direction, a "young lady" has come back into our circle who was widowed a couple of years ago. To boot, she has suffered from cancer and ongoing chemo treatments and complications from that. She is lonely and reaches out. She is a bit overwhelming. She is one of God's creation.
Starting this week we will be going to her. She is now home bound and doesn't have many visitors. Thank God that sometimes he throws opportunities in front of us so clearly that we couldn't miss it if we wanted to.
Thank the Creator that we have opportunity to love. i seek, we seek, a greater, deeper community. Something intentional and tightly woven together. How can we achieve that until we can master the smaller, simpler facates of love.
Practice makes perfect.

The beginning of the last chapter of the end of the story. . .

i drove to work tonight. i like to drive. There is something that happens when i drive, especially alone. It's like life slows down to a near stand still as creation races by as though in a hurry to meet oblivion.
There is a stretch of wetland between my house and work. A wonderfully misunderstood world of quazi-stagnant water and ferns. Oaks, and maples, birch and frogs and mushrooms. It's been officially autumn now for four days, and the leaves have been evolving to an artist's stroke for some time. But it wasn't until tonight that i actually noticed the autumn creeping in and subduing this particular wetland area. It was calming, almost too calming.
About 13 seconds is all that it takes to traverse the whole of the swamp by vehicle over route 25, but it seemed that much longer. Like the truck moved through at the speed of life, but i was dragged behind in time. i noticed the color of each individual leaf, and the trees preparing to fein death for a peaceful winters rest. i noticed the bark on each tree, and the wind as it grabbed each tree by the base of the trunk and shook them vigorously.
It was like the Nexus. . . i wanted more. i want more of that.

The beginning of the last chapter of the end of the story. . .

i drove to work tonight. i like to drive. There is something that happens when i drive, especially alone. It's like life slows down to a near stand still as creation races by as though in a hurry to meet oblivion.
There is a stretch of wetland between my house and work. A wonderfully misunderstood world of quazi-stagnant water and ferns. Oaks, and maples, birch and frogs and mushrooms. It's been officially autumn now for four days, and the leaves have been evolving to an artist's stroke for some time. But it wasn't until tonight that i actually noticed the autumn creeping in and subduing this particular wetland area. It was calming, almost too calming.
About 13 seconds is all that it takes to traverse the whole of the swamp by vehicle over route 25, but it seemed that much longer. Like the truck moved through at the speed of life, but i was dragged behind in time. i noticed the color of each individual leaf, and the trees preparing to fein death for a peaceful winters rest. i noticed the bark on each tree, and the wind as it grabbed each tree by the base of the trunk and shook them vigorously.
It was like the Nexus. . . i wanted more. i want more of that.

The beginning of the last chapter of the end of the story. . .

i drove to work tonight. i like to drive. There is something that happens when i drive, especially alone. It's like life slows down to a near stand still as creation races by as though in a hurry to meet oblivion.
There is a stretch of wetland between my house and work. A wonderfully misunderstood world of quazi-stagnant water and ferns. Oaks, and maples, birch and frogs and mushrooms. It's been officially autumn now for four days, and the leaves have been evolving to an artist's stroke for some time. But it wasn't until tonight that i actually noticed the autumn creeping in and subduing this particular wetland area. It was calming, almost too calming.
About 13 seconds is all that it takes to traverse the whole of the swamp by vehicle over route 25, but it seemed that much longer. Like the truck moved through at the speed of life, but i was dragged behind in time. i noticed the color of each individual leaf, and the trees preparing to fein death for a peaceful winters rest. i noticed the bark on each tree, and the wind as it grabbed each tree by the base of the trunk and shook them vigorously.
It was like the Nexus. . . i wanted more. i want more of that.

Declaration of obedience. . .Would some call this a statement of faith?

A good friend asked about my thoughts on the "Sermon on the Mount". It is questions like these that i cherish. It is questions like these that have been coming up repeatedly lately, as though to say, "Hey! Wake up. Do you know what you believe? Do you believe in the living Creator or the system that has been built up around him?"

"How we live is what we believe. Everything else is just words."
"I have only recently become a follower of Christ, as opposed to just a believer in Christ. . ."

These two quotes just keep circle my brain. i have skimmed through those passages in Matthew again, and am forced to admit that there is a great deal that i am not sure about. Of all of these things there are a few things that i am certain about:

1) There is only one church.
2) No prayer brings salvation without a life of obedience.
3) No life of obedience is possible without a growing understanding of Love.
4) A life of obedience brings with it the obligation of submission to brothers and sisters.
5) Motives are as important, and sometimes more important that actions. They are a result of the true condition of the heart.
6) A life of obedience requires the continued willingness to surrender everything, and contentment with nothing.

These are just thoughts, works in progress. There is a lot to learn, to know. . . i grasp so very little of it.

Thanks Phil!

Sometimes there just isn't much to say. . .

Sometimes it's nice to have nothing so say. At least nothing that could be construed or misconstrued as quasi-philosophical, preachy or maybe even deep.
Today has just been, "blah". i am sitting in a desk that i don't much care for in a job that i have come to loath. Working a job that is more a farce than anything else. . .
i would be a liar if i didn't say that this isn't my fault. This past two months has been full of corrections, self revelations, and really obvious answers to questions that i have. Somewhere down deep i know that there are paths out of things that i allow to hold me down, but for whatever reason, i seem to be happier being held down. . . or afraid to take the steps necessary to move forward. i wonder if my father ever felt this way.
i have a wife and family, a house, bills. . .maybe even an aspiration or two. my own aspirations and belongings (including to house) i could give up. The family is a whole different story. i can't just ask them to pick up and move on a whim. It wouldn't be just once, and it wouldn't be to some happy place. Were we to move, it would be some place in trouble, some place where danger lived, and not holed up in a cave, but walked the streets among the general populous.

Of all of the thoughts that have crossed the threshold of my mind recently is the simple command, get rid of all anger, bitterness, hatred, etc. . .written to the church in Ephesus.

Priorities. . .

Saturday Nights have continued to evolve as is inevitable. We had a great honeymoon period full of excitement laced with moments of really sincere communion with each other and God. Toward the end of the honeymoon period we became comfortable. We talked about where it is we might be going. We continued to explore harder topics. We realized that this was work, that even in a struggle to be different and deeper we looked the same as much of the rest of the "church". Some struggled to move forward in depth, others wanted to stick with the patterns that we have grown up with. Many ran forward with the armour of God and the artillery of self.
We struggled, and struggle still. We try to put our definition and expectations onto the fellowship, some struggle to break the chains of the establishment, some continue to divide the church into function specific gatherings.

In the end, the church is the church, and there is only one. We are the culmination of all of our talents and gifts, craddled in the bassinet of God's will. Being the church is really a very delicate balance. Like the food web, the loss of one link can cause the web to collapse.
We have to find our balance. Too much of anyone thing can cause the corruption of the whole. The church in the hands of man leads to religion. Too much program, too much self, too much organization, too little organization, too little honesty. . . any of this and more can drive us into danger.

NOTHING should be done out of selfishness. At the root of all sin is the promotion of self or the seeking of self interest. It's subtle, and hard to see at times, but it's everywhere. Yes, everywhere. It's in the "church". How often has the phrase, "i didn't feel fed" slip from someones lips after a Sunday morning meeting?
Do we go to "church" to be fed? No! This is selfishness.
First we don't go to "church", we are the Church. Secondly when the Church meets, we should not meet with the intention of being fed, we should meet with the intention of feeding others. When we meet, and we are all concerned about feeding one another, we will not need to worry about being fed because everyone else will be working to feed us.
Further i would postulate that when we walk away unfed, it is not the result of others failure to create a lesson that connects with us, but rather it is our failure to seek God.

James wrote in a letter, "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not recieve, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on you pleasures."

Motives. . . how often does it come back to motives. Who do we serve? Which is the greatest command?
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

"The greatest among you will be your servant."

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather serve one another in love."

I hold that absolutely nothing should be done with ourselves in mind. NOTHING. Instead, we should approach everything from a slaves perspective.
It would behove us to learn to unity. Seek the Church, and not my "church". Whether we meet in the same fellowships or different ones we are part of the Church. We should seek to support one another, encourage one another, serve one another, love one another.
Avoid putting expectations on each other. Rather than expect under some sort of judgement (no matter how small or severe), be full of joy when we meet. Work together as much as we can, and when we can't encourage to the fullest of our capability (in reality and not just in word).

When the bride says, "Come!" Let it be with the right motives, and not out of a desire to escape our particular circumstances, or to call judgement on anyone. Together in obedience we will do powerful things and when we cry together, "Come Lord!" He will see that our hearts are one, and our motives are pure . . .

The gypsy revival. . .

There was time when living in one place seemed foolish. Now i suffer from the disease called Americana. The false philosophy that i deserve whatever i want, and that i should pursue all that i want. i guess if my desires are well directed then yes, i should pursue all that i want (but this is not justifying the pursuit of crap a.k.a. all the stuff i think i need). As for deserving all that i want. . . Why? Why am i deserving just because i was born in this country if others are not deserving just because they were born in poverty or under oppression? We were born under the same circumstances. We are born, and bleed and hurt and love and heal, and die. So why am i deserving?i have a great wife, wonderful kids, a house, a yard, two cars. . .
There was a day that this would have made me vomit. Maybe it should again. Of course we are all called to different lives, and we are given the wonderful blessing of choice. To some degree we get to choose how to live. How much are we willing to give back?
i have been inundated recently with hurricane Katrina "one year later". It's everywhere. People looking back. Some for healing, some to remember better times. Some seeking inspiration. And i think of the gypsies.
For those like me who dream of being in the middle of hell on earth to help people who were born "less deserving", the gypsy life style is perfect. Home on the road. Having the freedom to live wherever, whenever it is necessary. Have odd jobs to build a bit of capital, and then move to where there is need, to provide assistance without being a burden. Work while you are needed. Move and get some odd jobs, build up some capital and move on to share your blessing with others in need.
i hope if anyone breaks free from the disease of Americana and discovers the beauty and wealth of blessing of the pseudo-gypsy revolution that they write and share the blessing and inspiration.

A month of gains and losses

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
That is how Jeff once began his end of the year thoughts after the closing campfire during a time of reflection.
i am sure that somewhere in history someone stole Jeff's opening thoughts, but we will forgive a work of lesser importants. Now that Jeff is gone, moved on to better home, those words almost sting. Funny, of all the conversations we had, those ring out again to me as though they were his own words and not a play on someone elses.
July was the beginning of a hard summer (well, not the beginning of summer but the beginning of change). i may remember it as the darkest summer of my life to date, but so much revelation and conviction came out of it, not to mention the birth of my daughter, that it wasn't really all bad.
Jeff's transition marked the end of an amazing era. An era with such impact that the funeral had to be arrainged over at least three continents. i mourn our loss, but celebrate our gain from both his life and untimely passing.
My daughter was born four weeks early, and just five days before i was to make a pilgrimage back home to celebrate Jeff's life with a myriad of friends. Then came the worst of times. Adelyn was having health "issues". i use the word issues because they weren't problems perse (they are normal issues for premature kids), but they were enough that she wasn't going to be released from the hospital.
This created conflict because i would have to choose between staying in town, and going home. On the surface the solutions seems an easy one, but there were, and are many underlying plot twists that made it not an easy decision to make.
The readers digest version (or the morale of the story):
i stayed. i am not at peace about quite a bit of this decision, but it was the one that needed to be made. First, because my wife asked me to stay, and i needed to serve her. Second, because my elders thought it wise. There is such a straying from what we see in the early church about obedience to the body and to Christ over our will, that this became a very pivotal reason for my staying. Thirdly, i was in conflict. With no peace about either option sometimes the best thing is to stay where you are. And so it was.
Someone on Myspace had written, "What you live is what you really believe. Everything else is idle chatter."
Powerful, convicting, true. i am a firm believer in the continuity of life beyond what is here and now but i apparently don't live (or haven't lived) as though i really believe it. i know that Jeff lives on, yet i still mourn him and place undo amounts of importance on rituals that focus on death. i mourn totally unnecessarily. i say this because why mourn for one who isn't dead?
If i am mourning for myself, that is selfish, and where is the merit in it?
Certainly this will be a summer to remember, to learn from. The passing of Bob Avila, the passing of Doane, the passing of Steve Irwin (yea, i confess i am a huge fan - but not obsessive), the meeting of Georg and Maida, the birth of Adelyn, the list goes on. . .

On so many levels the time has come to live what believe, and believe what we live.

Organized chaos and the timing of timing. . .

One of the hardest things to do, or rather not to do, is jump ahead of the ball. It is immeasurably difficult to not plan ahead, or try to move forward before the timing is right. The desire to find a big farm, or acquire a big space to live in the city is great, but we are not there yet. There are only two of us right now. There are several people who flutter around the idea, like moths around a light after dark, but no one that i know of is ready to make the jump to communal living.
So who knows what the future will bring. All that i know for now is that i have to be patient. . . but it is so darned hard. . .

Simply live

Georg and Maida have left the building. . . actually the state. In someways there visit accounts for my lack of thoughts lately. Life was action packed and vibrant with them here at home.
Alas, the community had other tasks for them and they are home now.
In their wake is left a great number of thoughts and a call to be obedient. Above all things i know that as we strip away all of the religiousity out of life, that we need to simply live.
God comes and touches us in our daily lives. In our comings and goings, in our breathing, our crying, and our smiles. The creator did not make us to seek buildings, or books, though books can help.
i wonder as i struggle to be open to God moving, if the hardest part of seeking is God is sometimes that we seek God. We search, as men seek treasure chests, or children hunt for easter eggs, and often the tunnel vision sets in.
Think of the last time you sat in a park or nature and stared at the skies, and wondered about the clouds, or the stars, or how the branches of trees hang high over head. There is God. We are left breathless, and in wonderment - the same way a child is enamoured by swarms of bubbles, or lightening bugs over a field at night. There God is.

Simplifying the kingdom of Heaven

God is not looking for heroic figures - wonderful people - who captivate others with their charisma. It must have been quite baffling to the educated world when Jesus pronounced, "Blessed are the poor in spirit" - blessed are the uneducated, those who do not try to understand everything with their intellect! Blessed are they who do not have to impress others by showing how smart they are. Blessed are they who are not always theorizing about spiritual things. What Jesus is saying is that it is the day laborers who are blessed, those who live from hand to mouth and yet are skilled with their hoe or pickax. Blessed are the Farm workers with their plow, who can't think much about anything except how best to do their work. Blessed are the craftsmen who create their handicraft and work hard to finish it on time but do not have time to read many books. Blessed are all such people whom we label uneducated - for these people are taught by God.
The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these, those who are poor in spirit - for it is these who understand God, for they live according to their hearts. The others live according to their heads and thus cannot be used. They are too concerned about what might happen and don't leave the Father freedom to act.

- Christoph Blumhardt

The power of nothing. . .

Ok, so not so much nothing as little. Being still, passive, quiet. i think of power, and instinctively i think of bombs, of raging fires, of steroid enhanced super body builders. Try and imagine life with absolutely no motion whatsoever, not even on a molecular scale. It's like imagining absolute nothingness. . . It can't be done.
It takes some effort to think about rain drops, a gentle breeze, and stopped movement. i suppose that there are two expressions of power. One is the kind of power that comes forcefully and can not be stopped. It is the force that changes landscapes, fells giant trees, or drops gigantic buildings.
The second is the kind of power that stops movement. It travels inwardly exploring the truest caverns of peace. It takes motion and pressure and paralyzes them both in a passive manner. This power is the power that allows us to have the clearest and most lucid of thoughts, and bring us to the truest place of peace and balance.

Same Bat times, different bat channel

Tonight was pleasant, in spite of the fact that i am five hundred plus miles away from Amy and the kids.
i am in Sackett's Harbor, New York. George and Maida have been with us for just over a couple of days. Tonight was the first clear night that we have seen in several weeks, so George and i decided to walk from my mother in law's house (we are helping her move back to Maine), to Lake Ontario. What a night! It was so much like the many walks that my brother and i would take in down town Santa Cruz, all those years ago. But that was when we were neither married. i thought those days would never end. Then they did. Then i thought i would never get those days back.
i know that these days, like those, are fleeting. George and Maida and Daniel will have to return home eventually. But it has been such a nice reminder that sometimes old things are not lost, they are just made new!!!

-isms

The view from the fence is nice. Not a popular place to ride from anymore it seems, especially if you go bareback, but all of the discomfort and splinters are offset by the amazing view. i have had a week of wonderful conversations this week ranging from matters of religious expression, to local and state politics (The state primaries and local elections are coming up in a few days). What a society and probably a world of black and white we have become. It seems that everything is all evil or all good. Whether it's candidates, religious expression or varieties of wine. Its numbing that we take all or nothing. People are judged by their affiliations rather than for their hearts, and character, and groups are judged wholly on their public face rather than by the members that make them up (ok, so the last statement doesn't seem to make sense from the get go, but there is quite a bit of logic behind it). Hang on while i go and get the tweezers, got another splinter. Nobody is either all good, or all bad! Yes that's right, neither Bush, nor Hussein, nor Hitler. Not even Osama! Yes they suffer from an excess of bad judgment, but they can not be all bad. Likewise for the staunch democrat. . . Bush isn't all bad. Or for the fundamentalist Christian. . . Buddhism isn't all bad. If it were it couldn't share many of the same teachings of Jesus, or one would have to argue that Jesus couldn't be all good. So what's my point?The world isn't black and white. Any line of thinking or organization, the "-isms" as i like to call them (racism, feminism, sexism, etc), that focuses solely for the advancement of their people above all else are wrong! Not totally wrong, because everyone should have their causes supported, but they should not be advanced to the loss of others. There must be balance. All people treated equally. If we spent more time seeking the good in people, and building them up, and less time seeking out the negative (which is usually much more blatantly obvious) and making it our purpose to *fix* everyone else, maybe we wouldn't fight so much. The view from the fence here is good, though i do have some recommendations.
1) Avoid the white picket variety, they tend to smart a little.
2) Find one with a wide gate.
3) Probably not a bad idea to invest in a saddle. . .Otherwise at least a pair of tweezers.

g'mornin' all!

The havoc of peace in chaos

Oh the joy of a bad memory. It humors me anyway! i can't tell you the number of days i have double booked or sometimes triple booked. Every now and again i am able to find a way to work things out, but there are other times when i find myself in a pickle. For whatever reason i find myself in that position again. This of course is partly my fault, but more for reasons of bad communication than actually double booking myself. This is just a crazy time of year. This weekend one great friend graduates, we have a yard sale to help support another friend, i have to work Friday and Saturday night, we have a gathering of the church on Saturday and Sunday, i am supposed to pick up the new chicken coop Saturday, and my mother in law is trying to move from New York to Maine, and i am supposed to help with that. All of the strain has taken my 8 month pregnant wife right to the brink of insanity, as has it my mother in law. They had what i call a "festive interlude" last night. Then of course my wife called me in a failed attempt to debrief and to let me know that a couple was coming to stay with us for a month or so. Originally they were slated to show up in July, but they called to say they would be here Saturday. . . . It was a strange feeling as i listened to my wife (i could feel her angst rising along with her blood pressure), you could here the concern and stress in her voice, but for whatever reason the more i thought about how insurmountable this weekend seemed, i know/knew that it is all going to be alright. Sometimes in the midst of chaos God adds one more bit of havoc that helps to bring peace. He will not gives more than we can handle!!! Thank God for that.