What a quandary,
i sit here on the precipice of good and the best. Problem is i don't know which is which. There is an amazing opportunity to throw in with some friends of mine that are part of a non-profit group to help troubled boys. They are and have commit themselves to wholly follow God and are selling all of their belongings and donating the proceeds to the program. The hope is to buy a suitable sized parcel of land and put a couple of buildings on it and run a farm/camp program to help rehabilitate the boys. In this they would be living totally communally.
Oh how i desire that. . . but something is amiss. Not that they are doing anything shady, but somehow i know in my heart that it is not where my wife would be happy, and even i have reservations. Grrrrr. . . i know what i long for, but i know not how to get there.
i want for a vow of poverty, i want to serve the poor, i want to be a self-sufficient in this life as i can be (so as to follow Paul's example and not be a burden to anyone - including the state), i want to live in perfect community so much as it is attainable in this life.
Father, grant me patience! The time is coming.
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