Some Ramblings from Myspace. . .

Were you to check out my "blog subscriptions" you might notice that a couple of them don't match any names on my friends list. No i am not a stalker - at least not that i know of. i have always tried to view this whole blogging thing as an opportunity to write down unfinished thoughts., candid thoughts. i have tried to write for myself hoping to use this "journal" as an avenue to more completely explore some of the ramblings that haunt me. In the archives here are several blog postings that no one will ever unravel because they frankly don't make any sense. Reading them may bring one to believe that they were crafted by a trained circus monkey. Some blog postings here are reminiscent of the babbling thoughts of Vizzini. Not a stitch of coherence to them. Ultimately for all my attempts to be candid and to myself, it still floats through my mind that people read these things. Am i sometimes embarrassed? Yes, for my lack of proper spelling or punctuation. For my lack of intelligent thought. So what does all of this have to do with my subscriptions. . . They interest me. They keep me connected. People are very complex. We are who we are, but sometimes it is hard to truly see the whole spectrum of a person. No person can look into the mind of another. Men specifically tend to be more intimate and gentle, and honest when writing than they feel they can be in person. Once a thought is on paper (or screen) it is freed from the prison of the ego. It is out and there are no more borders to hold it in. Nothing for it to hide behind. And so i like to read what people think. Tonight i found out that someone that in fact i am only now getting close to has a blog outside of Myspace country. She is someone that up until recently i only knew superficially, but as i read her blogs, i have had the priviledge of getting to know her better. It is the same way with all of the blogs that i subscribe to and read regularly. i have the opportunity to see into the souls of other people. Something meaty, something real. It is awesome, because it connects people in some strange abstract way. But like i rely on musicians to help me express myself through song (i can't write songs or play them to save my life), i have found that i rely on others to help me explore the human experience. my friends write with styles totally unique to them, but beautiful, and different. Their writings sometimes resonate with my soul, though i could never write with the same voice - nor am i meant to. Perhaps that is why i so enjoy reading their thoughts. It appeals to the adventurer in me. Their writings allow me to explore parts of the human experience i would otherwise have no way of reaching. i honestly don't really pay attention to the people that read these pages. Well, not that is, before this morning. i didn't realize that there were people that subscribed to this (poor you). i was flattered to find out that people do read these blubbering. Please keep in mind though, my thoughts are seldom complete, especially if i am just writing them down. my hope is that someway, somehow my thoughts help others in the same way others help me. In an age of technology it seems that the tools that we use to be more connected only help to distance us really. So the one consolation prize is that to some measure we are able to find a means of getting to be deep, real, and intimate with one another in spite of our distance and disconnectedness.