A moment in honesty

Just the other day i read an inspirational thought, one of many that i receive on a daily basis from the Bruderhof. It spoke to me and the many others out there that wonder about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Here is the Post:

A Prerequisite for Belief
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Are you worried because you find it so hard to believe? Don't be surprised at the difficulty of faith, if there is some part of your life where you are consciously resisting or disobeying the commandment of Jesus. Is there some part of your life which you are refusing to surrender at His behest, some sinful passion, maybe, or some animosity, some hope, perhaps your ambition or your reason? If so, you must not be surprised that you have not received the Holy Spirit, that prayer is difficult, or that your request for faith remains unanswered Â… The person who disobeys cannot believe. Only if you obey can you believe.
Source: Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Cost of Discipleship"

This hit especially close to home tonight. I have been struggling with my relationship with God in recent weeks, and the events of tonight, in view of the Bruderhof post, really put things into perspective.
Earlier in the day, during a time of prayer, i asked God to intentionally bring someone into my path tonight that i would have the opportunity to talk with about God and freedom in him. Three minutes before i startedwrithingg this post my supervisor asked me about my Bible (Heeeeres my sign).
So what did i do? i let my jaw hit the floor, and i sat there in horror that i didn't know how to answer or where to take the conversation. i ended up finding the quickest fire door out of that conversation, and for i minute i believe i know how Peter felt while Jesus stood trial.
Before i finished this post i went back and tried to reopen the door and speak on the matter, but it was not as neat or easy as that first opportunity presented.
What a fool.

Father, i pray open our minds to hear your voice. Loose our tongues to speak of the volumes of love that you hold for us all. Let us be your servants, ready and capable right now. God bring someone into our path that is ready to listen and open to talking about you. - Amen.