The years end

If i am lucky i may get to stick one more post here before the years end. Regardless this has been a good year, and i am very happy to have had the opportunity to post my thoughts here.

i was getting ready to toss my calendar when the last day of the year caught my attention. On it i had written, "Have i grown in character".

i only vaguely remember writing it there and it was much earlier in the year. Without much thought i really could not answer in the affirmative. But i thought about all that happened this year, and all that has changed. My second son was born, i stepped out of religion and into community with Jesus and fellow pilgrims, my views on capital punishment, and Christmas have changed dramatically. Above all my relationship to God and to my wife has come into greater clarity.
When i first wondered about my having grown i answered in the negative simply because there are a lot of areas that i still fail continually. After some thought though i changed my answer and approach to the above question. How?
Well. . . Simply, i realize that i have so many short comings. Before i was so very ignorant to them (or simply chose not to accept them). Recently, God has made me very aware of them, and he has been working me through them. This is a start - nothing more.
My prayer for this year is that we would accept our short comings and go before God willing to work through them. My prayer is that each of us would be willing to grow this year.
My prayer is that we would approach life from a God-centered point of view and not an American-ME-centered point of view.
God bless us all in the coming year.

The best gift yet. . .

As Christmas fast approaches. . .in just a couple of hours, i had the blessing of coming into work. Ordinarily the idea of going to work isn't so enticing, but tonight it was.
The day was a warm 40 degrees, and there is still snow on the ground, enough that it will be a white Christmas.
The conflict between the cold snow and the warming atmosphere, and the slow movement of light just after the sun retired over the horizon made for an awesome sense of stillness and calm. The Christmas songs on the radio were quiet and gentle. It provided a great moment for reflection and introspection.
There are presents under my tree, though not an absurd amount as in years past, and there is a lot of food in my fridge. Still for all the joy that food and drink, and nicely wrapped gifts bring, they don't hold a candle to some of the best gifts of all!
Shaun and Andra who bring laughter, friendship and Joy.
Greg and Jill who bring good times, great conversation and food for thought.
Chris and Tina for your love, and desire to edify and the ability to see the good in all things (and the great cooking - thanks Tina!!).
Jerry and Rachel for wisdom, solidarity, and controversy.
Beth and Sam good times, good laughs, wisdom, and keeping me mindful of my place.
Tom and Kathy new friendship, like mindedness, sincerity and obedience.
Jody laughter, vulnerability, and a straight forward look at the insane.
David and Liz - introspection, honesty, an earnest desire to learn, and of course Star Wars.
Kristin - excitement, obedience to your calling, good laughs, and that evil sounding elmo thing you do.
Kris P. for zest for life, a youthful eye on things, and your passion for music.
Julie M. for your desire to see an upside to all situations (and for shooting a bigger deer than me).
Alan - devotion to God and the zeal with which you execute your calling.
James (The big one) for your ability to be as sensitive and passionate a man as i have known and yet possess that Vulcan like connection to logic (your poor wife has her work cut out for her).
Amy for you who keeps me focused and unknowing causes me about half of the thoughts that i spend so much time lost in, for your honesty with me and above all your patience.
The Boys (James and Owen) you inspire me beyond words, your youthful fascination with life and all its facets, and for helping me to better understand my father who i didn't really know till the end.

God bless you all my family and friends you are the best gifts this side of Heaven.

The Christmas Spirit. . .

My friends and i have had many a good "debate" over the value of celebrating Christmas. Some of my friends point to its pagan roots, and want nothing to do with it. Others still see it in the nostalgic light of the 1950's or Roy Rogers generation when Christmas was about family. Still others see it as an opportunity to dote upon their loved ones.
Up until this year i had never really put much thought to it. This year, though, has been very different. i have had the blessing and curse to have been exposed to poverty (by American standards). i have heard of families losing everything and others with nothing to begin with, yet they are happy.
The news has been broadcasting concerns that traditional giving to charities will decline because of all of the donations given because of the recent surge of "natural" disasters. Maybe God is trying to tell us something here.
A toy store employee made reference to people getting into the "spirit of Christmas" meaning that people were buying a lot of stuff. But is that the meaning of Christmas?
i believe that the meaning of Christmas is love unconditional, and real sacrifice and giving to those in need. i would have to agree.
So why is it the "Christmas" spirit? Why isn't it the spirit of Christ? Maybe this year God has been telling us to stretch out beyond the holiday season, and really love all over all year long.
After some of the stories i have heard this year, i don't think that i will celebrate Christmas the same. i know longer want gifts. i have way more than i need. Instead in the future i would recommend that those that want to give me gifts should redirect these kind offerings to people in real need.

What does God look like anyway. . .

i can no more describe God to you than i could any of my pen-pals whom i have never met. i have never seen his face or physically heard his voice. i have never physically walked in his presence and i have never looked deeply into his eyes.
Like my pen-pals though i have been paying attention to his personality and his being. As God and i commune together i have been learning about him.
i don't dare venture to give God physical attributes, and i understand him to be spirit. Whether He has form or not is His business.
i know God to be loving, creative, inventive, artistic, patient, stern, forgiving, trusting (faithful), gentle, peaceful, intimate, and close.
This is how God looks. i wish i could give you more, and perhaps you know him better than i.
i think of God like a pointilism painting. You can focus on one point of color all day, but you never see the greater picture. The longer you look at the whole picture, the more you see all the different points of color, and see how they tie together to make the greater picture. We can not put God in a box, but remember that we were created in His image. If this is true, then we must share some of His attributes.

In whose time???

If only i could be a fly on the wall of space and look at the earth more wholly. i would love to see how pilgrims around the world cope with the social and interpersonal issues that plague us all.
It has been my upbringing that when you run into a social wall, you pack your bags and walk the other way. That is to say that when you have a disagreement with someone (in the church) and it can not be easily resolved, you, at least on the surface, agree to disagree and go your separate ways. In "secular" life you just stop being friends, acquaintances, or whatever. Is it done this way all around the world, or just in western culture?
As i struggle through my own shortcomings and misunderstanding of the ways, convictions and shortcomings of others, it is repeatedly impressed upon me that problems are seldom solved quickly. Further if you turn tail and run, often you miss the bigger lesson that God is trying to get across. That lesson is often long reached and requires a great amount of real sacrifice.
Something about iron sharpening iron. Metal wears the metal down, chips off microscopic flakes like scabs off of a wound making the surface new and sharp. This can't be comfortable - think of the last time you had a scab yanked off a newer wound.
Where sharpening a knife takes mere minutes consider this tidbit of wisdom that a good friend passed onto me about time:
"Five minutes seems like nothing to the person eating an ice cream cone, but that same five minutes seems an eternity to the person walking across broken glass."
Be patient - life isn't McDonald. God will work things out in his time, and in retrospect it will all make sense.

In spirit and truth. . .

i had the great pleasure of having coffee with some friends this morning. It is a vehicle that we use in order to stay in touch with one another's lives - Accountability. We have adopted a system by which we can stay on top of one another in areas where we struggle the most, and by keeping each other accountable in these specific areas we can track our failures and successes.
A couple of the questions that we ask are geared toward relationships and how we treat people both in their presence and their absence.
Dave, one of my friends, mentioned that God had really spoken to him about "remaining in my (Jesus) love." He didn't expound on it too much, but it stirred something.
What is Jesus love that we remain in it? What does it look like? If we remain in Christ's love should we not also mimic that love?
Can we harbor anger or hatred and still love? Can we truly call ourselves followers of Jesus if we are not willing to drop our anger and our hate, and love everyone unconditionally??
i don't believe that any one of us can say that we love God, call ourselves followers of Jesus, or even call ourselves Christians if we can not love Adolph Hitler, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Tookie Williams, and that person in each of our lives that causes us to shudder.
If we have no room for mercy, grace and forgiveness on EVERY level in our hearts, we have no room for Christ there either. It is easy for me to say this, I am not the family of those people killed. But in all of this God has intended to teach us, to build us up.
The case of Stanley Williams is one of the greatest opportunities for us to show the love that Christ showed the adulterous women, who by the law of her people was to be put to death.
Williams is guilty of horrible crimes and may be partly responsible for founding one of the worst gang organizations in the country. Since that time he has made efforts to renounce what he has done. He has made efforts to work against the damage he has done to thousands of teens. Yet in spite of these things we can not grant clemency.
Imagine if Christ treated us the same?
From this point forward I will struggle with anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ that supports the death penalty.
May God forgive us, and grant us clemency!!!!!

Trust. . .

"The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future."
- Brennan Manning

How much do we trust God? How much do we trust that he will tend to us? Are we not worth more than a sparrow?

Take a moment, honestly examine where you are. Is it really a life of in naked trust in Jesus?

Thoughts from the magnetic poetry. . .

Grace runs over life above all else forever.

Retail Jesus. . . 50% off this weekend only!

i have been meeting recently with some members of the Mormon church. A year ago i may have grumbled that they had "caught me", or just avoided answering the door. Probably, all truth be told i would have found some non-offensive way of telling them to go away.
Problem is that i asked for it. i had a little time that morning to pray before going out into the woods (it was deer season). As i prayed i had asked God to send someone my way that wanted to talk about Jesus. At the end of the day, there they were. The only people that came in my path that day.
So. . . i invited them in. We have been talking now for a little over three weeks and it has been quite enlightening on a lot of levels. i have come to realize that there are fewer differences between the church of Mormon and many of the protestant denominations than we would like to think. The most disturbing of the similarities is the need to sell Jesus.
The tactics that the Mormons use is not all that different from the "evangelism" tactics that many protestants use. At the end the big difference is the book of Mormon.
i don't say these things to tear people down, or put them on the defensive. i hope that people that read these words will realize that we don't need to sell Jesus. We need to live with Jesus. i don't sell my friends to others. i live with my friends and relay my experiences. i introduce my friends to others. From there it falls into the hands of my friends whether or not a relationship will develop, grow and flourish.
We need to get away from the thinking that we save people, and remember that our role is to simply introduce people to Jesus. We can only introduce people to people we know. That being said, don't introduce people to anyone more than the Jesus that you know!
Once you have introduced them, let Jesus do the rest. As i hope you have experienced Jesus will reveal himself. It is our job to love God and one another. It is Jesus job to save people.
Tell me about Jesus. The Jesus that you know personally!!