At this hour in the morning there are no witty titles. . .

I have never really thought much about the words to the ol' song Amazing Grace. As a matter of fact until recently I have never really spent any time pondering grace at all. Suddenly the realization of my own inability to follow completely the most basic commands of love have come to light. All of the character traits written about in the bible for which there is no room in heaven apply to me: the liar, the adulterer, the double minded man, he who fails to care for the sick, the old, the impoverished, judging people from my standards without considering how God sees them . . . There I am. How is there room for me then in heaven?

And here is where grace becomes amazing. In the simple act of faith (which consequently I struggle with simply because I have so much – it's easy to have faith when you also have a back up plan) God loves us. He grants grace. He leaves room for growth, and discipline, for learning – to become less, to become content, to give more than we take, to love when we are not loved, to see people from the perspective of eternity through God's eyes and not from the perspective of our own expectations and standards. Even when we fail here – and we will fail – God loves us, grants us grace, and sets a place setting at his banquet table for us. This is amazing grace that I will go home and fail, and still I can have hope. Not that this is license to give up trying, but this is encouragement not to surrender to despair.

And this is how you know. . .

It has been the best of times, it has been the most uncomfortable of times, and it has been a growing time.

I was most amped this week when the church met. After several months of, how would you call it . . . "blah" we met together and really hashed out some hard things. One of the things that was, at first, a real downer for me was that how many to feed became such an issue that it was decided that each family would bring their own bag lunch to our gathering. And this is how I know that in spite of all the hard things that we have gone through and are working through that it all matters – when we came together with our individual bag lunches, it turned out that we all brought food for everyone else, and we ate from each others offering. It brought more encouragement to me than any words that could have been spoken.

We who are struggling to be outwardly focused already instinctively think of the others. And so we struggle with how to let go of ourselves and be outwardly focused, to love obnoxiously, and to be fed by each other and not ourselves. . .

That brings peace.                      

Further tales from the garden

So Amy had the kids wake me up early last evening. Usually this isn't the wisest of moves, especially on days like yesterday where I had back to back overnights and I just couldn't sleep. But last night it was worth it.

It turns out that a small hawk (I believe that it was a Cooper's hawk, but I haven't finished identifying it) had been perched on the back deck looking over the garden. The hawk suddenly started up while she was taking pictures - Amy got some good photos. Turns out it had spied a shrew scurrying across the gourd patch. Mr. Hawk made very short work of the little shrew. It was neat to watch. Mr. Hawk was in no hurry whatsoever and took his time eating, the cleaning his talons. He didn't seem bothered by his audience who were standing less than four meters away. After his meal he put on a good display flexing his wings and then jumping up to roost on the Pea supports. It really was very fantastic.

The day was made better by the near 36 hours of on an off rain storms. It seems a dog's age since we had rain. The garden which was on the brink of death has already started flowering. It's a bit late in the season for much more to come (I expect we should see a frost in the next couple of weeks) but we might steal a few more squash and peas out. Fantastic!!!

Like my friend Renee, I tend to lament the loss of summer to autumn knowing that winter is near, but I do love the autumn.

Harvest time!!

i love the feel of the dirt between my toes, the smell of tomato plants and finding that unexpected watermelon tucked underneath some random leaves.

 

We spent Saturday morning out in the garden harvesting peas, beans of all sorts, corn, cukes, squash. . . Ahhh!! It was great. Even with the lack of rain the plants are producing well, and among the withering and dying leaves, there is new growth. For crying out loud it's now the 3rd of September and i have watermelons that are just getting started. What a great thing to eat out of your own garden (thank you God!!) and eat off the land. No chemicals, no middle man . . . just you and God and the land. 

 

In another note, we started a new "no plastic" economic system. Everything in cash, except for the things that are taken out through automatic withdrawl. i like to grocery shop anyway, but this definitely added a bit of challenge to it. When you have "x" number of dollars and no plastic back up you have to watch your pennies.

i haven't shopped like that in years, but man it was fun!!