talking too much again. . .

Perhaps it is a sign of the season – they say that people get depressed around Christmas. I have read that it is partly because of cabin fever, partly because of the lack of light, partly because of finances at Christmas time. There is a solid foot and one half of snow on the ground. It's beautiful out.

I just can't seem to grapple with what the heck has changed in the house. Everyone is so edgy and tense and grumpy all the time anymore . . . or perhaps I am just becoming aware of it. It's enough to make me believe in this ethereal spiritual warfare that I have been so very skeptical of my whole life.

Lately the more we struggle with the things of God the more we slide down a slippery slope – always something comes up to discourage. Busy, preoccupied, overbooked – overwhelmed. It becomes more and more clear that something has to give. I am praying about this dangerous move in the summer to a single income household, freeing up the missus to devote her time to the kids, the house, the neighborhood. It's all very scary. But there is something in the danger that is enticing – exciting. Still there is a need for discipline that I don't see yet. There is a lot of culture that has to be washed out first so we can resist the need to bury ourselves. Priorities have to change, focus has to change, and faith has to grow. We need to reach a point, I need to reach a point where I am slow to fear, anger and frustration because I need to meet the status quo. We need to our expectations. God willing I would love to be able to take the family to a third world country so that we could taste (for me again) the pure joy of poverty and simplicity. Finding peace in having what we need and wanting what we already have. Not fearing where the money will come from for the bills, not governing our life in Christ around our current lifestyle, or worse yet our expectations of a lifestyle, but being willing to commit ourselves to absolute ruin for the sake of Christ. Offering ourselves on the alter of social suicide so that God can be made to shine in our lives and that He alone will be praised for his goodness.

In short I am scared and excited, but probably more scared.                     

Meanwhile, back on the farm. . .

Well, it finally happened.

 

Among our new additions to the chicken flock in the spring we added to aruacana (sp??) chickens. They are funny looking little birds whose breed finds it origins in South America. We picked them because of their special gift. Also known as "the easter egg chicken", they lay green, blue, pink and brown eggs.

We were beginning to think that we had acquired bum birds, but alas. . . the other morning we went out on our morning egg collection trip (we have to collect them early this time of year or they freeze solid) and sure enough, among the brown eggs that our other hens lay was one small (comparatively speaking) green egg. i was super pleased because i had been hoping for green. Our neighbor in the farm down the road has the same breed and hers lay blue eggs. Maybe now we can mix and match!!!

 

Oh the joys (and quirks) of God's creation.

The continuing adventures of the modern day heretic . . .

(Author's Note: The following entry is made with a combination of sincerity, confusion, frustration and satire. I assure you that I in no way intend to attempt to discredit the authority of the scriptures, history or teachings of the Bible – nor do I take it lightly.)

 

As many who subject themselves to the readings of these ridiculous posts know I am struggling through the modern church's replacement of the experience of God with the reading of the compilation of writings we call the Bible.

A week or so back I had an excellent conversation with some fellow disciples who were able to offer experience and sage wisdom to some of my questions. It was good for me because it reaffirmed, for me at least, that I do not question the teachings or the validity of the Bible. Post Facto I still struggle with the modern Church's means of interpretation of much of it, and more importantly the seeming practice of making the Bible God. It sounds weird, but more and more I hear "preachers" and "teachers" rant and rave about the absolute authority of and the need to be completely obedient to the "word of God" (In the case the speakers are referencing the bible) or the Bible. What I don't hear are enough "leaders" of the modern church supporting a position where people actually relate to God or even expect to relate to God (by that meaning that they don't expect him to relate back). Am I alone in my frustration????

So I mulled this over a bit and I thought perhaps I was going about this all wrong and that I should just concede the point and live in happy "normal" land with everyone else. But then it occurred to me – in the shower where all deep thoughts originate – what about the time before the "Bible" . . . what about the time before all scripture??

People in many Muslim countries do not have the Bible, they have to rely on God the living creator of all things and it is from many of these countries that we here most of the supernatural acts of God still happening. These places where the Bible is hard to come by we still see miracles happening as in the days of Jesus. Likewise what about the days before the Bible?? What did people do then??

They related to God!

 Now here is where I throw in the plug that the Bible, aside from being a supreme teacher (but not the supreme teacher – that would still be God's job) is also a supreme reference! If we are relating to God and the "god" that we are relating too is in contrast to scripture then something is fishy.

 

Adam begat Cain (who was naughty but still had a relationship with God), Abel and Seth. Seth begat Enosh, who begat Kenan who begat Mahalalel who then had Jared who then had Enoch (Who walked with God) who was the father of Methuselah who was the father of Lamech who begat Noah. Noah had Shem who was the father of Arphaxad who had Shelah who begat Eber who begat Peleg who begat Reu the father of Serug the father of Nahor the father of Terah who just happened to be the father of this guy named Abram.

Abram who God later renamed Abraham had some pretty amazing experiences with God. He talked to him, made a binding agreement with him fed him, followed him and so on.

Abraham was the father of Isaac who was the father of Jacob (who was renamed Israel by God). Israel was the father of Joseph who from God received interpretations of dreams. He was also the father of Levi from whom (through how many generations I am not sure) Moses was descended. And it was Moses who most say authored the first books of the Torah.

 

Before Moses I can not say with certainty how many generations there were. I can also not claim with any certainty how many of them walked closely with God. There were some that were pointed out, but I would wager that sans written scripture (like the Bible that we all tote around) that there had to have been a darned good oral tradition as well as a lived example. My point?!

Look at the list. These people new God. They all had a name by which they knew him that wasn't a generic title for a deity (aka god). They walked with him, served him food, talked to him in bushes that were on fire but never burned, some of them didn't die . . . . They parted seas, turned water to blood, angels were subdued, civilizations were saved . . .

So what happened? Dispensationalism, God changed the rules? I think not. I think we lost sight of what was important . . .

If your Bible causes you to stumble (is that possible?), is more important than your God, or is your God find some petrol and a good strike anywhere match and start over! Salvation begins with God!

 

 

Chew on that. And be at peace.

Near. . . . . . . .far!

I often times lead with my heart. Except when there is food involved, then I lead with my stomach. Regardless, either way the brain disconnects. It really serves no purpose whatsoever in my life choices except to confuse me at the most inopportune moments when I think about things waaaaaay too much.

On my deathbed my only foreseeable regret will be that I wasn't as reckless as I feel that I should have been. But it is hard when you have a wife and little people depending on you. There are societal standards and state standards and federal standards and of course no one wants there kids to hate them because they caused them to live in poverty or something worse (although the word "worse" can also be used to described keeping up with the Jones' or striving to be rich or something sick like that).

I imagine that there is a balance to things; I just can't find that balance. It's stinky really! I know that I (and my family) am out of balance, and honestly, until I had a conversation recently with some friends I didn't realize that I didn't even know where to begin looking for balance. OK, so I knew where to begin, what I didn't know was what to ask for.

Now I do! Ha! Or at least I did. What I didn't expect was an answer so soon. I don't think that I spent twenty minutes praying and meditating on things when I got an e-mail from my good friend in Lewiston, and *poof* there was the answer.

Funny how God works.            

The funny thing is that it wasn't the first time that I had received this revelation, and it was the repetitiveness of it that caused it to sink in. That and now I actually knew what I was asking for!

It all makes me think about Damien's blog about Wolfgang Simpson's ideas about the church needing to grow smaller. I think that he really is right (Simpson), and so is Damien. Accountability is important, and there is so much that gets watered down when we extend ourselves too much. And there is one of the blessings and curses of technology today – it is way too easy to over extend and reach out to people far too removed from our Oikos.

Bringing Damien's blog into line with my thoughts here: allowing work (or our wives work) to draw us away from the people in our neighborhoods or our immediate circle of friends is a drain on closeness and smallness. Not that we shouldn't have long distance relationships (both in space and time), but we should manage them wisely so as not to be a detriment to our immediate world.

Snow and a restfull winter

First real snowfall of the year hit. WOW!! i can't believe that there is all this snow. It's ridiculous. . . i love it.

 

The weekend preceeding the snow was most amazing in sooooo many ways, both up and down. An evening of discussion and praise of God, learning songs and good food together, followed by a morning of prayer and weeping and conviction. It was all so overwhelming and powerful. The best part of it is that coming out of the weekend i have the best sense of a direction for prayer that i have had in some years. It is like the spiritual equivalent of being rested before a long journey.

 

God has taught me that you really can not worry about yesterday or tomorrow, even when they seem overwhelming. Living in the moment really is the most important thing.

 

Be at peace.