i work nights. i seldom sleep anymore, and when i do it is even more rare that i enter into deep sleep or that i wake up refreshed.
Today was different though. my sleep was broken up into two periods. After a twelve hour shift last night i stayed up so that we could get the kids pictures taken. That was a bit of a chore. By the time we got in to do it, it was darned near nap time and the little ones were way too fidgety.
i got to bed late. . . like 11 am and slept for about 5 hours. A huge chunk of sleeping time in my world, but still i woke up exhausted.
i was up Amy and the kids for the evening, had supper, put the kids to bed. Momma, James and i sat on the couch and read books and listened to James radio program, then i laid down. It was weird. . .
It was a lucid dream. Peaceful. i had apparently purchased a two floor Victorian house with three rooms. At first it was just me in the house. Then my parents came over and my father helped me makes some repairs. i was cognizant of my acrophobia so he did all of the high stuff. Time fast forwarded a bit and there were many of us living in the house. Men and women, we all lived together and it was cool. We had crammed people into just about every possible nook and cranny, but there was still plenty of room. People kept coming. One person left. . .that was really sad.
Time fast forwarded again. The house was still there and all the people still lived in it, and i was still in contact with all of them, but i don't think that i lived there full time. i was in the city, with another guy, older and pretty charismatic. He had access to a radio program and we were outside of an old movie theater. We were trying to raise funds to buy it to set it up the same way we had modified the Victorian. . .so lots of people could live in it.
Outside there was a whole mess of people standing around offering support or just hanging out with us. They were poor, many of them, but not all. They didn't just fit into one demographic, there were all kinds of people from all different countries. It was amazing and beautiful.
We all began dancing together as we neared our goal and knew that we were going to acquire the building. And we danced and danced. As we danced i ended up with a little boy from Guatemala. An amazing boy with dark eyes and a broad smile. He was happy. As happy as he had been in a long time. He was an orphan with nowhere to go. And all the people were dancing.
As we danced i decided that i was going to adopt him, and the older man, the radio guy, agreed to help out with the process. It was just pure joy, peace, and happiness.
Then i woke up. Rested!
i am still riding the wave of that emotion. . . untouchable!
"'In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.'"
- Acts 2:17
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Church and State. . .
Lets pretend for a minute that i am not overly critical. . . no, on second thought, lets live in reality.
i get a good chuckle from my wife's boss. She is a great person, a few years my senior and full of life and energy. In fact she is in close competition with my two year old for the most energy contained in a living body. . . but she makes me laugh. She doesn't like to talk with me much about serious things because, as she likes to point out, i am too critical. "Not bad critical," she says.i play the Devil's advocate a lot. i don't know why i just do. i am conscious of it all; my critical nature and my problem with authority and structure.As if to challenge me, the other day my two year old opts to touch the dial on the radio. Big NO-NO! Especially when daddy is listening to the BBC News report. But he did and of all the stations he could have turned it to it had to be the BBN - the Bible Broadcast Network; Mind Washing Radio.Now wait, you say. michial you believe in God, and Jesus. How can you say this about a "Christian" radio station?Well, a radio station can not be "Christian" any more than a rock can be "Christian", or a ball of snot can be "Christian". To be "Christian" is to decide to become obedient to the teachings of Jesus and last i checked radio frequencies, rocks and balls of snot have no consciousness or powers of decision making. Yes i am a bit anal retentive too.So my son changes the channel, and i hear the call sign and my heart sinks. But then i think. . ."There must be a divine reason for this. i will leave it tuned in for a bit and listen."Then it happened. The worst possible thing ever (well, maybe not the worst possible thing, but pretty close in my book). Owen had changed the channels right between broadcasts, and it was the beginning of a new program. It was the "Janet Parshall's America" show. Now, i have never heard of Janet Parshall, nor had i heard her program before, nor will i tell her that she has no right to an opinion. . . .nor will i ever waste that much of my already far too short life again. After surviving the five minutes of the program that i could stomach i had to change the channel. Partly to avoid vomiting and partly to keep a reign on my really negative thoughts (i have been trying, albeit not all that successfully to be less critical and focus on the good).It was all i could do not to vomit. In her broadcast that day she was publicly maligning a peace protest in Washington D.C. against the war in Iraq, and supporting (as far as i could tell) the war, and also supporting the troops. Now, i am all for supporting the troops, but supporting a war where people are being killed. . . Further how can anybody justify using God's name to support this war or any war? Especially the church? Where do ever see Jesus condoning war? And if we are going to try to use God to justify this war (in a country were we have capitalistic interests. . .OIL), how is it that we shy away from saving the families and children of places like Darfur (where oddly we have no interests outside of the sanctity of human life and love for mankind - a far more valuable commodity) who are being slaughtered and genocide is happening on an almost grander scale than Saddam was guilty of? How do we justify that? {For those of you who just said to yourselves something along the lines of "We ought to just nuke 'em all," get off your selfish saddle and try living in real poverty with no voice in civilization and no sense of hope for a week.}And at what point did we become the chosen nation of God?? Yes, we may have more freedom than most, but even our sense of freedom is skewed.Lastly, as i understood from her broadcast both of the protests being held (one was pro-peace, the other was a pro-war counter protest) where being sponsored or at least supported by those who claim to follow Jesus. How is this possible??Ugh, what a nauseating state of being God's church is in. i turned off the radio and my head spun at the idea that anyone could present a pro-America (or pro-any nation for that matter), pro-war, pro-self interest, pro-capitalism God. It was like the church has replaced Yahweh with Capitalism-weh and we are reaching for salvation through a relationship with our lord and saviour George Bush and the holy Republican spirit has been left with us to impart special gifts of making our pockets full off cash through magic snot-hankies. Next week we are going to get the gift of Stock-market-discernment. Now before you get your knickers in a bunch, i am not democratic either. Still i spent time thinking about it. i felt a bit guilty. i thought about Amy's boss. i wondered if perhaps i was being too judgemental (not about the show but about the BBN network as a whole). The network is not all bad, like most everything else, the network is not black and white. They do also present some good perspective on the Bible. So i am forcing myself to listen to it and to pick out the good in it (with exclusion of any time they may try to mix politics and religion). Hopefully someday i will pluck the good from all things before allowing the critical brain to kick in.
In the meant time the New Conspiracy of Thought CD is out and it ROCKS!
Here is a look at the prospective new national prayer:
Our master who art our stomach greed shall be thy name.
Convenience come, I'm number one
So don't try to get in my way.
Give me today an easier life
And forgive us our trespass
As we trespass onto lands that don't belong to us.And lead us not into conscience
But deliver us from social responsibility
For ours is the kingdom, and the power
And the domination forever and ever. . .
Amen
i get a good chuckle from my wife's boss. She is a great person, a few years my senior and full of life and energy. In fact she is in close competition with my two year old for the most energy contained in a living body. . . but she makes me laugh. She doesn't like to talk with me much about serious things because, as she likes to point out, i am too critical. "Not bad critical," she says.i play the Devil's advocate a lot. i don't know why i just do. i am conscious of it all; my critical nature and my problem with authority and structure.As if to challenge me, the other day my two year old opts to touch the dial on the radio. Big NO-NO! Especially when daddy is listening to the BBC News report. But he did and of all the stations he could have turned it to it had to be the BBN - the Bible Broadcast Network; Mind Washing Radio.Now wait, you say. michial you believe in God, and Jesus. How can you say this about a "Christian" radio station?Well, a radio station can not be "Christian" any more than a rock can be "Christian", or a ball of snot can be "Christian". To be "Christian" is to decide to become obedient to the teachings of Jesus and last i checked radio frequencies, rocks and balls of snot have no consciousness or powers of decision making. Yes i am a bit anal retentive too.So my son changes the channel, and i hear the call sign and my heart sinks. But then i think. . ."There must be a divine reason for this. i will leave it tuned in for a bit and listen."Then it happened. The worst possible thing ever (well, maybe not the worst possible thing, but pretty close in my book). Owen had changed the channels right between broadcasts, and it was the beginning of a new program. It was the "Janet Parshall's America" show. Now, i have never heard of Janet Parshall, nor had i heard her program before, nor will i tell her that she has no right to an opinion. . . .nor will i ever waste that much of my already far too short life again. After surviving the five minutes of the program that i could stomach i had to change the channel. Partly to avoid vomiting and partly to keep a reign on my really negative thoughts (i have been trying, albeit not all that successfully to be less critical and focus on the good).It was all i could do not to vomit. In her broadcast that day she was publicly maligning a peace protest in Washington D.C. against the war in Iraq, and supporting (as far as i could tell) the war, and also supporting the troops. Now, i am all for supporting the troops, but supporting a war where people are being killed. . . Further how can anybody justify using God's name to support this war or any war? Especially the church? Where do ever see Jesus condoning war? And if we are going to try to use God to justify this war (in a country were we have capitalistic interests. . .OIL), how is it that we shy away from saving the families and children of places like Darfur (where oddly we have no interests outside of the sanctity of human life and love for mankind - a far more valuable commodity) who are being slaughtered and genocide is happening on an almost grander scale than Saddam was guilty of? How do we justify that? {For those of you who just said to yourselves something along the lines of "We ought to just nuke 'em all," get off your selfish saddle and try living in real poverty with no voice in civilization and no sense of hope for a week.}And at what point did we become the chosen nation of God?? Yes, we may have more freedom than most, but even our sense of freedom is skewed.Lastly, as i understood from her broadcast both of the protests being held (one was pro-peace, the other was a pro-war counter protest) where being sponsored or at least supported by those who claim to follow Jesus. How is this possible??Ugh, what a nauseating state of being God's church is in. i turned off the radio and my head spun at the idea that anyone could present a pro-America (or pro-any nation for that matter), pro-war, pro-self interest, pro-capitalism God. It was like the church has replaced Yahweh with Capitalism-weh and we are reaching for salvation through a relationship with our lord and saviour George Bush and the holy Republican spirit has been left with us to impart special gifts of making our pockets full off cash through magic snot-hankies. Next week we are going to get the gift of Stock-market-discernment. Now before you get your knickers in a bunch, i am not democratic either. Still i spent time thinking about it. i felt a bit guilty. i thought about Amy's boss. i wondered if perhaps i was being too judgemental (not about the show but about the BBN network as a whole). The network is not all bad, like most everything else, the network is not black and white. They do also present some good perspective on the Bible. So i am forcing myself to listen to it and to pick out the good in it (with exclusion of any time they may try to mix politics and religion). Hopefully someday i will pluck the good from all things before allowing the critical brain to kick in.
In the meant time the New Conspiracy of Thought CD is out and it ROCKS!
Here is a look at the prospective new national prayer:
Our master who art our stomach greed shall be thy name.
Convenience come, I'm number one
So don't try to get in my way.
Give me today an easier life
And forgive us our trespass
As we trespass onto lands that don't belong to us.And lead us not into conscience
But deliver us from social responsibility
For ours is the kingdom, and the power
And the domination forever and ever. . .
Amen
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Seventy and sunny. . . weird
March. Not just March, but March 14Th (well, it was yesterday) and it was 70 degrees in my backyard. There is something tremendously wrong with that. i am not complaining, i enjoyed it, but it isn't normal. Global warming oppositionists - explain yesterday to me.
i spent a bit of time at the coffee shop this morning - killing time before getting my oil changed. i can never really tell what my intentions for going there are anymore. i used to go there to have chai and philosophize with my small group of friends. Lately i have been reading. . .well that's what i tell myself. i don't wonder if i am having more fun people watching now. Wondering, who they are, all those coffee addicted folk, what they are up to today? What makes them tick? Our species fascinates me if for no other reason than we (and yes i said we - i am pretty dumb too)just kind of hum-drum along as life passes us by. We hide in our little worlds. We are in contact with literally thousands of people each day yet we make no attempt to make any sort of real contact with them. Its probably not possible. . . to connect with that many people all in one day and have any sense of real connection with them.
Hmmmm. OK i am just rambling now. Good morning.
i spent a bit of time at the coffee shop this morning - killing time before getting my oil changed. i can never really tell what my intentions for going there are anymore. i used to go there to have chai and philosophize with my small group of friends. Lately i have been reading. . .well that's what i tell myself. i don't wonder if i am having more fun people watching now. Wondering, who they are, all those coffee addicted folk, what they are up to today? What makes them tick? Our species fascinates me if for no other reason than we (and yes i said we - i am pretty dumb too)just kind of hum-drum along as life passes us by. We hide in our little worlds. We are in contact with literally thousands of people each day yet we make no attempt to make any sort of real contact with them. Its probably not possible. . . to connect with that many people all in one day and have any sense of real connection with them.
Hmmmm. OK i am just rambling now. Good morning.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Living with a hernia. . . .
Yea, i didn't think you would remember that classic Weird Al Yankovic tune either. It only came to me because it has become sort of an anthem at the moment. That and i was a total freak as a child (not that much of that has changed).
But yes, after a night of tossing and turning i was coerced into going to the doctor where they pronounced me "invalid".
Did they help me feel better? No! They referred me to someone else for that. And that someone else (the Casco Bay Surgical Team) says that i can wait two weeks for a "check up" appointment.
Not that i am woohoo-gungho about having a surgery, but man this just ain't comfy anymore.
The highlight to all of this is that my wife feels vindicated. i had to go, give a urine specimen, get violated by a stranger, then get an ultrasound. She says it serves me right, seeing as she has had to do it three times (pregnancies. . .).
The difference. . . at least she got to squeeze a watermelon sized parasite out of an orifice the size of a lemon. All i am going to get is: groped again, and some silly stitches.
What the heck?!?!?!
But yes, after a night of tossing and turning i was coerced into going to the doctor where they pronounced me "invalid".
Did they help me feel better? No! They referred me to someone else for that. And that someone else (the Casco Bay Surgical Team) says that i can wait two weeks for a "check up" appointment.
Not that i am woohoo-gungho about having a surgery, but man this just ain't comfy anymore.
The highlight to all of this is that my wife feels vindicated. i had to go, give a urine specimen, get violated by a stranger, then get an ultrasound. She says it serves me right, seeing as she has had to do it three times (pregnancies. . .).
The difference. . . at least she got to squeeze a watermelon sized parasite out of an orifice the size of a lemon. All i am going to get is: groped again, and some silly stitches.
What the heck?!?!?!
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